#43 – Of Diaries and Journals

Michael-R-Clemmer
Rare photo of Grampop Michael R. Clemmer

As a child  I vaguely knew that my grampop Clemmer kept a diary.

Ten years ago I had the privilege of reading some of them. Thus I found out when my Aunt Esther got new wallpaper in her bedroom, when the family got their first telephone, and who went to the hospital for what purpose and for how long. I saw how much my grandfather paid a nurse when one was needed for my sickly grandmother Lizzie.

I also learned about purchases for the family business, the Moyer & Son feed mill. Grampop documented excursions he took with my great-uncle Jake to buy a new adding machine, or a pair of black or brown horses to haul wagons of feed or coal to customers.

Souderton-Mennonite-Church-1952
Souderton Mennonite Church, June 3, 1952. Warthel Photos

I found out about burials at church, a packed house for the annual Harvest Home Service, and the time the communion wine was watered down too much. I found out that my grampop was once in the lot for minister at Souderton Mennonite, but another man chose the book with the slip of paper that signaled his call.

I heard the facts about all sorts of things, but from my grandfather’s diaries I could only guess how he felt about them. He never said or even hinted….

So…I knew about diaries, but I only learned about journals at Christopher Dock Mennonite High School. In Grade 9 I started keeping my own journal. An early entry, dated January 28, 1962, read like this:

Diary-1962

The practice of keeping a journal where I explored my feelings became hugely important for me.  I did so off and on as a college student and as a young adult. Then when I became a pastor 31 years ago, I began writing in my journal almost every morning, before the activity of the day got underway.

Keeping an almost daily journal continues to help me talk to God and to myself.  It helps me know what I’m thinking and feeling. I owe my start to Miss Longacre – now Anna Mary Brubacher of Kitchener, Ontario.

At one point – maybe 20 years ago – I thought my edited journals might be published in some form after I died. I even named someone to read and edit and make decisions about them.  Later I realized that my journals are for my eyes only and should eventually be destroyed.  So four years ago as we were downsizing, I read a lot of old journals and then shredded them, keeping only the ones from the preceding seven years.

Love-a-guide-for-prayer
Presently available from Loyola Press

Every January since that time, I’ve read and shredded another year of journals.  Reading those old journals has become a spiritual practice – a review of my inner life, my fervent prayers, and my joys and struggles. At times I was dismayed at getting stuck in a struggle for an inordinate period of time, and was more than ready to shred the memory of it!  Yet in a few other cases I decided to keep an old  journal, because it chronicled so well how I had worked through a major transition.

My reading of old journals also reminds me of significant spirituality books which accompanied me at certain times, such as Love: A Guide for Prayer. Sometimes I’ve torn a quote from such a book out of the journal I’m about to shred, and pasted it into my current one.  Sometimes I’ve pulled a book off the shelf and browsed through it again.

Keeping a journal and reviewing it are significant means of soul nourishment for me. When I read an old journal, or even review a recent one, I often recognize God’s spirit come near….

Questions for Reflection:

  1. Have you ever kept a diary?  A journal?  If so, has that practice brought nourishment to your spirit?  In what ways?

Next week: The Isle of Iona: Finding God in a Sheep Pasture

6 thoughts on “#43 – Of Diaries and Journals

  1. Amen! And I look forward to your reflections on Iona.

    Muriel Bechtel
    515 Langs Dr., Unit J,
    Cambridge, ON
    N3H 5E4
    Home telephone: 519-219-3344
    Cellphone: 226-338-6915

    Every sunrise brings the promise of a new beginning.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. it’s so interesting to read about diaries and journals especially this week. My mom kept a diary almost every day for over 50 years. In her last months when she no longer watched TV or read books she would read and reread those diaries. When the children stopped by to visit they would pick one up and read too.
    Mom died just this week and already her children are reading those diaries and asking about things in our past. What a gift!
    I write in a diary every day too. It would be interesting to know what will happen to them in the future.
    Love reading your blogs, Sue!

    Like

  3. Thanks for these reflections, Carolyn, about your Mom and other family members being nourished by re-reading her diaries and remembering things from the past. My sympathies at this time of loss….

    Like

  4. Thank you, Sue, for this “home-y” entry – diaries way back then, and more recently, journals. I always appreciate your reflections.

    Like

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